


Chrysalis

by persimonne



Category: Star Trek, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bajoran Rose, Betazoid Rey, Borg Finn, Canonical Character Death, Consensual parasitism, F/M, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Kidnapping, No Pregnancy, Now complete, Panic Attacks, Safe to Read if You're Triggered by Pregnancy, Sex, Star Trek AU, Surgery, Symbionts, Trill Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-10-09 22:37:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20517584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/persimonne/pseuds/persimonne
Summary: "Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Resistance. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilisations, to boldly go where no one has gone before." - Captain Leia Organa.Captain’s Log, Stardate 52181.73. We have finally found a Betazoid who would be perfect to help with our friend Finn’s recovery. She’s not a professional counselor like the ones we have tried so far–she’s an engineer–but I’m sure her innate empathy will be more than enough to help with Finn’s transition from Borg to Human.Captain’s Log, Supplemental. My son Ben is having problems with First Officer Dameron, again. I hope this Rey will be amenable to help him too, he needs to talk to someone that’s not his mother for once.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Star Trek gives me so many feels!  
I have to thank profusely the RFFA Mods and my two betas MissCoppelia and AGDoren, they helped me so much with grammar check and Star Trek lore too! Sunbug1138 suggested the beautiful title. Go check their fics <3
> 
> ATTN: if you want to read this story but never watched Star Trek, check the end notes before beginning! I have written a small guide to help you better understand the setting and the characters.
> 
>   


*** Planet Camor V, Unknown Location, Stardate 38875.13.***

  


“Mom! Dad!” Rey cried, her eyes filling with tears. 

She was going to die soon. Smoke dark and heavy blinded her stinging eyes and clogged her throat as she coughed and gasped for breath, struggling against something hard and heavy that pinned her small body to the ground. 

Fruitless tears started in her eyes: no one answered. Were her parents gone, leaving her to die in the middle of a fire? She couldn’t remember anything from the past few hours, every memory was a blur. She started crying and coughing. Black smoke began to fill her lungs, every breath agony. She closed her eyes, and darkness overcame her.

When she opened her eyes again, she was between the arms of a tall woman with bronze skin and a blue and white scarf wrapped around her head. White spots ran down her strained visage in a symmetrical pattern.

“Don’t worry, little one. You’re safe now. I’ll bring you to the nearest settlement.”

Rey turned her head: against the horizon, a column of black smoke contrasted eerily with the blue of the sky and the pale yellow of the bare earth. She was on an unknown planet and her parents were dead. She latched her arms behind the woman’s neck, holding tight. She was safe, for now.

  


***USS Resistance, Main Bridge, Stardate 52182.14.***

Rey checks for the last time if her black and blue uniform has any creases, and steps in front of the automatic door leading her to the main bridge of the USS Resistance. After thanking Lieutenant Hux profusely for accompanying her from the transporter room, the ginger haired android smiles at her in his peculiar, stiff way, and pushes a button on the wall on her left.

_ Courage_, she tells herself, and takes a big breath. The door opens, and she is welcomed by everyone on the bridge.

_ Don’t get overwhelmed_, she tries to convince herself, plastering a huge smile on her face. _ Nothing bad can happen here, they already know you’re an engineer and that you weren’t raised as a normal Betazoid. You’re here to help with the Borg guy, that’s all. _

“Welcome!” A short and stocky Trill woman smiles at her, offering a Vulcan salutation, but shaking her hand right after. “I’m Captain Leia Organa, we talked many times already. This is your new home, I hope you’ll feel good here.”

Rey already likes the Captain, her welcoming feelings soon flooding Rey’s perception.

“This is First Officer Poe Dameron,” continues Leia, and a Human man with salt and pepper hair smiles warmly at her.

Her hands get shaken by another woman; small as well, with beautiful, sleek black hair, kind eyes, and a blue uniform like hers. She’s definitely a Bajoran, but she’s wearing crescent-shaped earrings on both ears instead of just one.

“Hello Rey, I’m Doctor Rose Tico,” she says, “I understand you’re here to work with Finn, right?”

Rey can only nod, her heart about to explode. She never expected all these people to be so welcoming. She’s not used to kindness and warmth, save for when she talks with her friend, Ren.

“I’m the one that removed Finn's implants and restored his human appearance. I’ve tried to be a good friend to him, but he sorely needs to talk with a natural empath to overcome his fears,” continues the doctor. “I can’t wait to work with you.”

“Thank you, but I’ve been trained as an engineer, I’m no counselor,” Rey replies ruefully. “I hope I won’t disappoint you.”

“Everything will be okay,” replies Doctor Tico, and Rey hugs her.

  


***USS Resistance, Bar, Stardate 52182.44.***

They bring Rey to the bar, where she can meet other members of the crew and finally the reason she’s here: Finn, the ex-Borg. He’s a muscular young man with dark skin and short cropped black hair. He still has some fresh scars visible on his face, and he looks quite daunting until she speaks to him.

“We–I’m sorry,” he stumbles, biting his lower lip. “My name is Finn.”

“I’m Rey, and I hope to get to know you better soon.”

Finn scrunches his face as if trying to smile, but stops halfway.

“This is difficult,” he confesses her, and all the pain and confusion he’s feeling hits her like a punch in the gut. He’s lost, overwhelmed, and wants to return to his lodgings as soon as possible.

“We can see each other tomorrow, there is no need to talk now if you’re feeling tired,” she prompts him, and he nods, his relief palpable to even a non-empath, and walks away slowly.

Rey looks for Dr. Tico to ask her more about her new friend, but Leia intercepts her swiftly, taking her arm and sitting them down in a secluded corner of the bar.

“I was hoping to introduce you to my son Ben, but he’s being difficult as usual, and he has decided to hole himself up in his quarters tonight. You’ll surely see him around, if he decides to cooperate.”

Rey nods, but someone interrupts them again before she can ask Leia more about her son, whisking Leia away. Rey is about to get up when Poe Dameron takes the Captain’s place.

“Beware of Ben Solo,” he starts. “He’s bad news. I’d keep away from him.”

“What did he do?” Rey asks.

“He was First Officer on the USS Finalizer last year. He caused a huge accident and got demoted. Hux was on the ship with him, but his computer doesn’t retain any memory of that event, and that’s suspicious. Meddling with an android’s brain is no small feat.”

Before she can reply, Dameron gets called away too, and she leaves the table, looking for Dr. Tico.

  


***Planet Earth, Starfleet Academy, Stardate 41756.49.***

The wrinkled, skeletal hand of Admiral Snoke caressed Kylo’s face, his rough fingertips running over the uneven markings on the young Trill’s right cheek. Under the old man’s attentions, he shivered involuntarily, but remained in place, kneeling in front of the Admiral’s chair.

“Rise, my child.”

Kylo complied, his head still bowed.

“Your time has come. It seems I’m too old to apply for a symbiont: the Symbiosis Evaluation Board has banned me from setting foot on Trill again, after my last attempt to obtain an audience with the Symbiosis Commission.”

Kylo closed his eyes, not daring to point out that maybe the real problem was not Snoke’s age.

“You need to apply in my stead, you must become an initiate,” droned the old Admiral. “We need the symbiont Ren with us, only Ren. No other symbiont can help us.”

“Why do we need Ren? What do they hide?”

“Your grandfather, Captain Skywalker, had been their host for a long time. He was a very powerful Trill, but after he was joined with Ren, he became invincible. So invincible that he tried to defeat death.”

Kylo’s heart skipped a beat. Neither his Trill mother, nor his Human father had ever disclosed if his grandfather had been joined with a symbiont or not. And now Snoke was telling him that he’d been Ren’s host, and the symbiont was still alive. He knew nothing about his grandfather, Leia didn’t want to talk about him, and the only thing that his uncle Luke had revealed about him was that he was a violent man, and he had killed his own wife in a fit of jealousy. But he was powerful, a veritable force, undefeatable in battle.

Kylo shivered. He wanted to know more, he wanted to have Ren for himself.

“Of course, the initiate program will be more difficult for you, since your father is a Human, and you share your more inconvenient traits with him… We should do something about that.”

  


***USS Resistance, Ensign Ben Solo’s quarters, Stardate 52184.58.***

“Well, maybe I needed help fifteen years ago! You’re too late, Mother!” shouts Kylo. 

“Ensign Solo,” Leia begins, piqued. “I’m talking to you as your Captain, now. You’re going to talk to our new counselor, or I’ll have to reassign you to another ship. Remember that another Captain may not be as lenient as myself, and demote you fur–”

He closes the communication with Leia. There is nothing that frustrates him as much as his mother’s contriteness, her incessant fussing over him, her need to coddle her broken son after sending him away when he was only a child. And now she’s ordering him to get help. His eyes blinded by tears, he punches the closest object, which happens to be a wall.

Kylo looks at the dent his knuckles formed in the weak metal and weeps. His hand is bruised, small droplets of blood seeping through the broken skin. His mother and superior officer had the gall to tell him he needs professional help: that the new counselor she’d hired for the Borg could help him too. 

When Leia had announced the girl’s arrival on the ship, he had scoffed. Betazoids were well known for their psychological bent, and he’d already known the Captain would try to burden him with her presence, her empathy, and her unwanted help. He doesn’t need that. He doesn’t need anyone.

This hurts way more than any physical wound. Even after thirty years, he’s still considered a nuisance to his mother, and she never fails to remind him that he’d never been the perfect son she wanted. At least his father isn’t around anymore to assist in this pitiful disaster.

He has managed to fail everything and everyone around him, even Admiral Snoke, who had always had complete faith in him. He’d never been able to obtain a symbiont, least of all Ren, because of clear incompatibility with the needs of the symbiont itself. Not only will he never be accepted within the Trill community, he’s incompatible with other Humans too. Even that Borg is able to tickle other people’s sympathy, something that he never managed to get right. There is only pity for him. He’s destined to remain alone.

He cradles his wounded hand, warm tears wetting his high cheekbones. “I wish I were never born.”

  


***USS Resistance, Lieutenant Rey Kenobi’s office, Stardate 52184.72.***

Finn is more at ease today, even if Rey can still perceive waves of nervousness coming from him. He stumbles more than once on pronouns, _ we _ instead of _ I_, but Rey can’t help but feel proud of him. Undoing years of mental and physical conditioning is a huge thing indeed, and he’s managing to let his human side emerge again after years of being subdued by the Borg hive mind.

“We–I’m sorry for yesterday. I actually like to talk to people. I’m still used having the billions of voices of the Collective within my mind. This life feels… lonely.”

What Rey perceives, however, is not _ just _ loneliness. Finn is afraid he can’t trust people on the ship; they’re not fond of him, and some still call him “Drone,” or use his old Borg name. Every new person he meets is a new trauma, not knowing if they’ll be friend or foe. Before, it was easy, everyone was a foe until assimilated into the Collective.

“My name is–sorry, was Twenty-One of Eighty-Seven. First Officer Dameron decided to call me Finn after Dr. Tico saved me from the wreckage of my ship.” This sounds painfully familiar to Rey’s ears.

“Do you like your new name?”

“Yes,” he exhales, and Rey senses that he doesn’t really care about names. He’s only anxious that not embracing his human name would be detrimental to his need to make friends and create a safety net amongst the crew members. The young man craves belonging above anything else. The release from the Collective must have been as traumatic as his assimilation.

She takes his hands and he looks at her like she’s out of her mind, but she doesn’t budge.

“You… aren’t afraid of me.”

“I am not. I want to get to know you better, for real.” She squeezes his hand.

“Being touched is strange.”

“It can be overwhelming. But I don’t believe I’m the first one to touch you.”

Finn closes his eyes. “You’re not. Doctor Tico hugged me, but my vital system was failing at the time. She saved my life and brought me here. Everyone used to hate me at the beginning, everyone but her. Many people still hate me today.”

“Is she the only one? To have touched you, I mean.”

Finn shakes his head. “First Officer Dameron always touches my shoulders, and Captain Organa took my hands as well. Several times.”

“Do you like being touched?” He promptly nods. “Let’s try an exercise? Everytime something bad happens, you think about your friends touching you.”

  


*** Planet Camor V, Southern Hemisphere, Stardate 44080.95.***

Rey’s skinny, emaciated body kept dragging the plough, barely gouging the barren crust of Camor V. The planet had been badly affected by the Cardassian Wars, and her settlement was stubbornly refusing any kind of help from the Federation, instead choosing to use agricultural techniques from Earth’s earliest eras.

Soon, a small starship landed in a nearby field, as dead as the one she was trying to make sowable. Someone came out of the small vessel, a short, young man with olive skin and dark hair, a huge smile etched on his face, strangely coupled with strong waves of unease and guilt. Rey stopped her ungrateful work, her gaze fixed upon him: the markings on his face were familiar to her, but she could have sworn that she had never seen him before. 

“Rey! Rey, I’m so so sorry,” he started. “It’s my fault you’re here!”

Rey was dumbfounded. What was he talking about? She looked over her shoulders, to make sure he was really talking with her. There was no one behind her.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Ezra Ren, you already met Ashoka a few years ago,” he continued. “Don’t worry, little one. You’re safe now.”

Rey felt her knees giving in under her. What was happening? Did this boy know Ashoka?

“I came back for you.” continued Ren.

Warm tears ran down her cheeks while the young man picked her up, slowly walking towards his ship.

“I’m mortified, Rey, you have no idea. Ahsoka had never seen a Betazoid when she found you amidst that wreckage, and she believed you were a Camorite. But then I changed hosts, and Ezra here has a few Betazoid friends. I came back immediately after the Joining Ceremony”.

Rey continued to sob in his arms.

“This nightmare will finish soon. I have found an old friend of your grandparents still living on Betazed. His name is Ben Kenobi and he will take good care of you. I’ll write you every week, don’t worry, you won’t be alone anymore.”

Rey latched her arms around Ezra’s neck, holding tight. Her prayers had been answered, someone had come back for real.

  


***USS Resistance, Bar, Stardate 52185.07.***

Rey finally relaxes at the bar, sipping a well-earned raktajino. She’s exhausted after her first session with Finn. The young man is engaging and captivating in his own quirky way. Rey already loves him like a brother, but she’s also happy that she’ll have the next two days to herself. Being an empath without having received the proper training on Betazed means that she can’t be there for others all the time. She needs time alone to recharge and take care of herself.

The bar is still quite empty at this time of day. She waves lazily at Hux, reading in a corner, and at the bartender, Maz. Turning her head around, she notices that there is another customer reading alone, seated at the far end of the room, next to the panoramic window. He’s very tall and big, his huge hands dwarf the PADD he’s holding, but she can’t discern his features because of the dark mop of hair obscuring his face.

But when he turns around, as if he’d perceived her staring, Rey gulps: he’s a Trill, like the Captain, but his markings are highly asymmetrical, bisecting his face in half instead of gently trailing down his temples. His facial bones are chiseled and hard, and Rey finds that enticing. He’s wearing a black and red uniform, the singular pip on his collar shining under the dim lights of the bar. He wasn’t there when she boarded the ship, or she would have remembered him for sure.

It’s been almost a year since she’s had sex, and she would like to know this hard-faced stranger better, at least in a physical way. She licks her lips while he stares at her inquisitively, hoping to catch his attention somehow, but he quickly returns to his book, as if spurning her interest. She’s about to get up when the Captain enters the bar, sitting in front of her.

“Dr. Tico told me that your first session with Finn went well,” the Captain begins.

“I think so,” Rey replies. “He’s nice, and he’s trying to fit in. Human relationships still scare and confuse him, though.”

Captain Organa doesn't offer any further comment, but Rey can perceive a faint aura of nervousness around her, like she's about to confess something deeply embarrassing. Rey looks around then, as if to put Leia at ease with what she’s about to say, and notices that the fascinating stranger has gone away.

“Rey,” begins Leia. “My son, Ben, isn’t feeling too well at the moment.”

There it is. _ She’s going to ask me to help her son too. _

“Could you please,” continues Leia, “take an hour or two of your week to talk to him? He doesn't have friends here, and I wish he could have… healthy relationships like other people do.”

Rey feels that Leia stopped herself before saying something inconvenient and unbefitting for a mother. Like admit in front of a stranger that her son isn’t _ normal_, and doesn’t have any friends. This breaks her heart.

She forces a smile. “Of course, I’d be glad to help him!”

  


***USS Resistance, Turbolift 4, Stardate 52193.83.***

Kylo runs into the stranger from the bar in a turbolift, after a few days. The doors are already closing when he spots her, and he picks up the pace, stopping the doors with his hands. Her gaze is immediately drawn to him, but she scoots into the farthest corner of the small enclosed space. She’s sweaty, undoubtedly returning from one of the holodecks. What kind of sports would a young woman such as her favour? _ Something light and feminine, maybe? _

Could she be the Betazoid girl, the counselor, his mother is still trying to convince him to see against his will? He heard Dr. Tico talk about her to a nurse when he went to the infirmary for taking care of his bruised hand. Tall, slim, and pale with brown hair; this girl fits the description, but he can’t be sure about her identity, Betazoids and Humans look the same to him. Is she reading his mind? _ Can a Betazoid do that? _

She is pretty by Earth standards. Should he find her attractive, even if she doesn’t seem interested in starting a conversation with him right now? She ogled him at the bar, after all. But now she keeps avoiding his eyes, her gaze fixed on the door, while he checks on her in the corner of his eyes. She’s unreadable. 

His deck is approaching fast, and he readies himself to exit the turbolift. “See you around,” he whispers while the doors are already closing, so she doesn't have the time to answer him.

  


***USS Resistance, Lieutenant Rey Kenobi’s office, Stardate 52201.26.***

Finn is somber as he talks about his previous life in the Borg Collective, and Rey absorbs his gloomy memories. This is draining; she’s actually glad she pursued engineering during her time at the Academy, instead of studying to be a counselor like most Betazoids she knew. Her emotions have been in constant turmoil since she boarded the USS Resistance.

“I was very little when they assimilated me and my parents. Maybe, that’s why everything is so difficult for me?”

Rey can only nod, and keeps listening.

“I don’t remember anything of my life before the Collective,” he continues. “They captured us, and I was separated from my parents and locked in a maturation chamber. I know what they did to me, the hive mind… it reorganized my synaptic pathways.”

Rey has to stop Finn from continuing his tale, lightly touching his hand. Sadly, he still flinches, and Rey’s head and heart can’t take it anymore. Everything is too painful.

“I want to share something about me too, would you be alright with that?”

Finn nods, a surprised expression on his face. It’s almost like he’s not used to people willingly opening up to him.

“I don’t really remember my childhood, either. I was stranded on a horrible planet, Camor V, after my parents’ ship crashed there. That’s how I met my first friend, Ren. Ashoka Ren, at the time. She saved me from the wreckage, but unfortunately didn’t understand right away that I wasn’t a Camorite, so she left me in a small agricultural settlement in the southern hemisphere. I practically lived as a slave until Ren came back years later, with a new host.”

“A new host?”

“Oh, sorry! My friend Ren is a Trill, a joined one. Some Trills live with a symbiont in their abdomen, nestled in a special pouch, but since this symbiont can live for centuries, they need to change hosts several times during their life. When I met Ren again, I was twelve, and they came back for me, and took me away from the Camor System. They called themselves Ezra Ren then, they had a male host. The last time I heard of them, they had another host, called Jacen.”

Finn doesn’t look surprised. Not everyone is familiar with Trills, even more so with joined ones, but the young man simply seems to accept the situation without judging.

“We would have assimilated them without hesitation, symbiont and everything, back in the old Collective days.” he whispers. “Borgs don’t care about anyone. Everytime I go to sleep, I worry that when I wake up, I’ll still be a Borg, and this second life I’m living has been only a dream,” he confesses, and Rey’s heart breaks a little more for him.

She can do nothing to reassure him that there’s no turning back. Unless they meet a Borg ship.

“I feel your worries, Finn. I know it’s hard.”

She embraces him, and this time he accepts her touch, shyly embracing her back.

They’re still hugging when someone knocks on her door, so she has to reluctantly end the embrace. She gulps after opening it, finding the mysterious officer that captured her interest in the bar with his intense gaze.

“Good morning. Can I do something for you?” she asks, her cheeks suddenly red.

Her gaze lands on his mouth: his lips are captivating, and she thinks about kissing them.

“It’s you,” he exclaims. “The girl from the bar–and from the turbolift.”

_ Definitely nicer when silent. _

Rey shrugs “And you would be?”

“Kylo.”

“Nice to meet you, Kylo, I’m really sorry but I’m busy with my friend Finn right now, as you can see.” He glances towards the sofa, then his burning gaze returns to Rey.

“You’ll have to come back later, then I’ll have the time to talk,” she smiles, closing the doors.

She returns to Finn, noticing immediately that his behaviour has changed; he’s more withdrawn than before, his jaw clenched.

“Finn? Is everything okay?”

“That man. He’s one of the people who still calls me _ Drone _ instead of using my name.”

Rey doesn’t comment further, her heart too filled with fear and heartbreak. She takes both of Finn’s hands in hers, massaging his palms lightly.

“Thank you,” whispers Finn, closing his eyes.

  


***USS Resistance, Lieutenant Rey Kenobi’s office, Stardate 52201.46.***

Rey doesn’t invite Kylo into her office after Finn leaves. She can perceive his presence, still behind the door. He’s frustrated, almost enraged, probably pacing back and forth in the corridor. She doesn’t understand what he wants from her, but she surely doesn’t want to know him any better right now. She considers Finn her friend, and people that hurt him hurt her as well.

She’s tempted to not listen to his knocking, but as his rage mounts, she has to cave before he ruins her door with a punch.

“Well?” she asks, cracking her door open.

“Captain Organa sent me to talk to you,” he says, putting a foot in the room so she’s forced to fully open the door.

“About what?” She’s snapping. His anger is only feeding her own rage, and she’s not sure she can control herself.

“She told me you can help me. The fact is, I don’t need help, but she’s convinced that I do. I’m here only to show her she’s wrong, of course.”

Rey doesn’t know what to say. She has no idea what he’s talking about.

“She said she talked with you about this, and you accepted,” continues Kylo. “Aren’t you Rey? The Betazoid?”

Rey’s fog of confusion dissipates. “Are you Ben Solo?” she asks, and Kylo flinches, waves of shame emanating from him. 

“I would prefer to be called Kylo.”

  
“Then I’ll give you an hour of my time, _ Kylo_.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Everything hurts" is the new "Live long and prosper".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the encouraging comments, you're the best and I'll slowly take the time to answer them.  
I'm really glad you're enjoying this story <3

  
***USS Resistance, Lieutenant Rey Kenobi’s office, Stardate 52201.50.***

Rey converses with Kylo using only half of her brain, while the other half is busy thinking about the fact that he’s an asshole –an attractive asshole– and he’s one of the main sources of Finn’s distress. She shouldn’t like him. He doesn’t really talk about himself, and his small talk is abysmal. She answers his sparse and uninterested questions honestly, but she can’t perceive anything from him, he’s unreadable. He’s definitely avoiding the few genuine questions she poses him. She wonders if he’s joined or not. Ren, the only Trill she knows, has always been amiable and friendly, and Leia seems a very nice person too. But Leia isn’t joined, is she?

“How did you become a counselor?”

“I’m not officially a counselor,” says Rey. “I studied as an engineer. The fact that I was even able to attend the Academy was a huge deal for me.”

“How so?”

“I was stranded on Camor V as a child,” Rey answers. “When I was five, my parents’ ship crashed on the planet, and they died in the impact. Someone who’s now a dear friend of mine saved me, but believing me a Camorite, she left me on the planet. He came back years later, when I was twelve to whisk me away, bringing me to Betazed and later encouraging me to enlist.”

“He? She? Is your friend perhaps a joined Trill?” Curiosity oozes from him, and Rey decides to dangle some bait.

“Yes. My friend is named Ren.”

Kylo’s pupils dilate visibly, and his heartbeat speeds up. He’s definitely interested now, but Rey perceives an odd streak of envy too.

“Your friend is Ren? You, a nobody coming from one of the worst hives of scum and villainy in the Alpha Quadrant?”

Rey looks at him, her chin held high. “Is that a problem?” she asks, acid dripping from her tone.

Kylo shakes his head. “Tell me about them?”

She smiles pointedly. “I’ll tell you more about Ren when you’ll treat Finn like a person. You should refer to him by the name he accepted and made his own. Now get out!”

***Planet Betazed, Lake El'nar, Stardate 48620.97.***

Rey finished putting old Ben Kenobi’s clothes in the crates for the local hospital. Cleaning the house had been cathartic for her after the loss of her only parental figure, the man that had kindly adopted her after Ezra Ren had brought her back from Camor V. Now she only had to decide what to do with her life. Studying at the University was a viable option for sure, but she lacked the patience to face theoretical tests and essays. However, she’d always been very good with her hands, and with machinery. She could maybe look for a job at the spaceport in Dalaria?

After she called the hospital volunteers to collect her foster father’s items, she began stacking the crates outside of the door. 

“Rey!”

A tall young man with green, curly hair and bronze skin was calling her name. She didn’t recognize him, and her first instinct told her to run inside, but she had to finish moving the crates first. And she didn’t perceive any hostility coming from him. The sight of him almost made her blush: he was beautiful.

“Rey, It’s me. Ren,” continued the young man. “Don’t worry, little one. You’re safe, now.”

The crate she was holding fell down, and her head spun. “Wha–what happened to Ezra?”

“A stupid accident on a ship. He got electrocuted, they had to transfer the symbiont. I’m Jacen.”

Rey dried her tears. Her old friend was gone, but not really: this young man retained Ezra’s memories, and Ahsoka’s ones too. There was no need to be sad.

“So, you didn’t manage to get a female host after Ezra?”

Jacen laughed. “No, this one was the first one available, but I can’t complain. I have gorgeous hair.”

Rey blushed again, a smile on her lips.

***USS Resistance, Bar, Stardate 52205.05.***

This time Rey is the one interrupting Leia during her sojourn at the bar. The Captain has just ordered a drink, and Rey joins her with a cup of raktajino.

“I spoke to your son yesterday morning. I don't think I can help him.”

“Are you implying that my son is a lost cause?” Leia says in a resigned manner. “I’ve tried everything to save him from himself.”

“I don't think he’s lost. But I’m not the answer to his problems. He showed interest in talking with me only after I disclosed that I’m familiar with the symbiont Ren.”

Leia’s eyes widen. “I’m not surprised. Did he tell you his mentor has tried to obtain Ren for his whole life? Ben became obsessed, too, after meeting Admiral Snoke.”

Rey has no idea who this Snoke is, but Leia doesn’t seem at ease while talking about him. “Are you joined?”

Leia shakes her head. “My situation is quite peculiar. Both my parents died shortly after I was born, and I was adopted by a Vulcan couple, while my twin brother went to a Trill family. He’s joined now, but I never had the urge to apply for a symbiont like he and my son do. To be fair, Ben never felt that urge either, until we sent him away. You see, his late father, my husband, was Human.”

“What happened to him?

“He died on the USS Finalizer. Didn't you know? People talk a lot on this ship.”

Rey lowers her gaze. First Officer Dameron told her there had been an accident, but not the details. Leia’s heartbreak hits her, and she has to excuse herself.

This is unexpected.

***USS Resistance, Captain Leia Organa’s office, Stardate 52209.16.***

Kylo sweats while snooping through his mother’s private database. He sneaked into her office unseen, but she could return at any moment. Surely there must be something that could lead him to Rey and her friend Ren, the symbiont that Admiral Snoke, his mentor, has tried to obtain for decades without success. The symbiont that had been joined with his grandfather, Captain Skywalker. His heart pounds like a warp drive.

When he’d seen her at the bar, and later, in the turbolift, she hadn’t even looked that interesting to him. She seemed like a normal young woman, pretty in a plain way, maybe, and he didn’t want to do anything with her. But Leia had insisted, and he’d agreed to see her once. Then he discovered that she had the only thing he hadn’t been able to obtain: a relationship with Ren, the symbiont. And now he can’t stop thinking about her.

Rey’s personnel dossier isn’t difficult to find, but many details seem to be missing. She doesn't have a birthdate or a home planet, and no parent or relative appears to be registered in the appropriate box. Even Hux’s file is more complete than hers, at least he has his cat, Millicent. Kylo huffs. He doesn’t even bother contacting Admiral Snoke, to ask him if he’d heard of Rey somehow: the old man went under the radar several months ago.

_ It looks like I’ll have to talk with the Borg, after all. _

***USS Resistance, Bar, Stardate 52218.38.***

Rey enters the bar arm-in-arm with Dr. Tico. They’re going to meet Finn to make him taste earl grey tea and other beverages from Earth. Their friend is already waiting for them, sitting at his favourite table, when Ben Solo -or rather, Kylo- beats the girls, sitting in front of the young man before they can even wave at him. Rey slows down, stopping Rose, to observe the scene undisturbed. Unfortunately, they’re not within hearing range, and Kylo is whispering to a very tense-looking Finn.

Rey tenses too, even if she’s too far away to really perceive Finn's emotions. Rose takes her hand, pulling her towards the nearest table. It looks like Kylo has a lot of things to say to their friend, and Finn looks to be slowly relaxing, participating in the discussion with the other man, so they get comfortable and order something to drink.

When Finn finally joins them, he seems amused and surprised. And baffled. But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, is it?

“What did he want?” asks Rose.

“He asked for my forgiveness, for mistreating me in the past. He also told me that raktajino is way better than earl grey tea, and now I’m confused,” he announces, smiling. “Could you perhaps help me choose what to try first?”

***USS Resistance, Ensign Ben Solo’s quarters, Stardate 52219.08.***

Kylo goes to bed without eating, that night. Talking with Finn and asking for his forgiveness didn’t kill him in the end, and now he can’t help thinking about Rey. Will she talk to him now? Will she tell him about Ren? 

_ What if Ren has told her about my grandfather? _

He huffs, tossing in his bed, the lamé bedspread sliding on the floor. His thoughts about the Betazoid’s friendship with Ren are slowly morphing into images of Rey’s lithe body, of her fair, freckled skin, of her long and elegant neck. Her piqued, harmonious voice is echoing in his head, scolding him again for being an asshole to her and her friends. His cock begins to fill with blood, its length straining against his sleeping pants.

He thinks about running his fingertips over her naked back, awakening goosebumps all over her smooth, unblemished skin. He dreams about kissing her whole body, while she moans and writhes under his attentions. His right hand slides down his naked chest almost on autopilot, caressing his straining erection with abandon. When he finally frees his cock, stroking it with a vigorous tug, he lets her name escape from his lips. 

He’s doomed.

***USS Resistance, Turbolift 4, Stardate 52232.19.***

The following week, Rey runs into Kylo again after her Klingon Calisthenics program, and just like the last time, he boards her turbolift. This time they talk. Or rather, he talks at her, without even greeting her first.

“Go out with me. Choose a holodeck or a planet, I don’t care. If you’re tired, I can simply cook for you. But give me another chance. Please.”

He’s desperate and sincere, but his careless behaviour is only making Rey’s rage grow.

“Did you talk to Finn so you could ask me out?”

Kylo works his jaw, nervous, but she isn’t sure if she hit the nail on the head with her question or not. He is the first person who’s difficult for her to read, and this makes her nervous. He combs his fingers through his hair. This is getting worse.

“You want me to be sincere? I’m not sure I would have talked to him, ever. You’ve surely noticed by now that I don’t talk to anyone, except for my mother. No one here trusts me.”

“You didn’t even want to talk to me until a few days ago,” Rey spits back, her empathy forgotten. “Until I revealed my connection with Ren. You, a Trill without a symbiont. Are you really interested in me as a person, or as a tool to obtain what you want? Is Finn a tool to reach Ren too, then?”

Kylo’s mind is a whirlwind of contrasting emotions. Shame, guilt, and yearning are the clearest feelings amongst his inner storm. He puffs his cheeks, leans down, and kisses her. Rey is taken by surprise. She has thought about kissing him multiple times, but this is too sudden, and she feels sticky and gross. But before he can slip his not entirely unwelcomed tongue between her lips, she hooks her foot behind his calf, making him tumble suddenly onto the turbolift floor. He’s shocked and helpless, but not angry. There is something more like a sense of admiration coming from him. She crouches down in front of him.

“We’re playing by my rules here. Never try anything like that again.”

***USS Finalizer, First Officer Ben Solo’s office, Stardate 51121.56.***

Kylo ran into his office. Admiral Snoke was calling for him. The monitor revealed itself on the wall facing his desk, and the Admiral smiled, his pale, skeletal face deformed eerily with the effort.

“I’m really very disappointed, my child. I’ve invested all my energy in you, and look how old and tired I am now. I’ve been the guiding hand your real parents should have been, and what have you given me in exchange? Nothing!”

Kylo was thankful that Snoke was currently on the other side of the Alpha Quadrant. His knees were already trembling, and his throat was dry and scratchy. He had failed once more: the Symbiosis Evaluation Board had rejected him again, with a verdict stating that he was “not Trill enough” to become a host.

“You have too much of your father's heart in you, young Solo.” Kylo flinched at Snoke’s words. “It is time to rectify that.”

“W–what?”

“I sent a message to Han Solo, telling him that you’re waiting for him here. Kill him. This is the last chance I’m willing to give you.”

Kylo felt his legs give under his weight. The Admiral was angry, and he was demanding something impossible from him. Kylo had to eliminate his own father, severing his last tie with the Human race, and maybe then the Symbiosis Evaluation Board would finally accept him as a viable host, granting him the symbiont he deserved.

“Look what you’ve made me do,” seethed Snoke.

He remained silent and nodded, his gaze vacuous.

***USS Resistance, Lieutenant Rey Kenobi’s office, Stardate 52233.91.***

The following morning, Finn doesn't show up at his scheduled appointment with Rey. She waits for him for fifteen minutes, then twenty, then thirty before her anxiety begins to eat her alive. _This isn’t good. What if…_ _Rose will surely know where he is_. 

Rey hurries along the corridors, reaching the infirmary, but a nurse tells her that Dr. Tico has taken the day off. By the time she reaches her friend’s private apartment, Rey is panting, and she knocks on the door right away, without waiting for her breath to slow down.

“Rey?” Rose is not wearing her uniform, but comfortable and colorful clothes.

“Finn didn't show up at his appointment and I’m beginning to worry,” Rey says hurriedly.

Rose arches an eyebrow and clicks on her badge.

“Computer, where is Finn?”

_ Mr. Finn is located in his apartment, deck six. He is currently sleeping. _

Rey exhales.

“Come inside, you need to calm down.”

“Were you resting? I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“You’re not disturbing me at all,” answers the doctor. “I just finished praying. Today is the anniversary of my sister’s death. Her name was Paige, she died during the Cardassian occupation.”

Rey is speechless. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Is this that reason you're wearing two earrings?”

“Yes. The left one was Paige’s.”

“Do you know who killed her?”

Rose nods, her face expressionless, yet peaceful.

“Are they still alive?”

“I think so. I’m not really interested in their fate.”

“How can you be so calm about it?”

“Holding grudges won’t bring Paige back. Fighting what we hate is not the real answer, saving what we love is. That's why I brought Finn here after he crashed his ship. Everyone deserves a second chance.”

***USS Resistance, Finn’s quarters, Stardate 52234.19.***

Rey is surprised to find a very disheveled Finn answering his door. His eyes are puffy, and his face still bears creases from his cushion, in addition to his scars.

“Rey. Good morning. Do you need anything?”

“You didn’t show up at our appointment, and I got worried.”

The young man is visibly shocked, like he’s not used to forgetting things. How could he forget anything? He’s been part of a hive mind for his whole life. Order is the most familiar feeling to him.

“I’m sorry, Rey. It won’t happen again, I swear.” Shame and fear tumble from him, but she quickly tries to stop that harmful train of thoughts.

“Actually, I think that forgetting things can be very good for you. Humans forget things daily, and you’re human now, aren’t you? May I come in?”

Finn lets her enter his space for the first time. It contains the standard furniture, with a couple of touches that are distinctively his, such as an old leather jacket draped on the couch, and a potted cactus. 

_ Thorns are necessary for protection. _

“Did you have nightmares again? Is that why you slept late?” asks Rey.

“Not really. Kylo invited me to his apartment yesterday evening, and we talked for the whole night.”

Rey does nothing to hide her surprise. “Really? About what?”

“Second chances. I think we have something in common, after all,” her friend smiles softly.

***USS Resistance, Ensign Ben Solo’s quarters, Stardate 52234.27.***

Two empty cups of raktajino are still on his living room table when Kylo wakes up. Getting to know Finn better was nice, and he enjoyed having someone to talk to. He never hated him for what he is, or rather, was. He was simply jealous of the other man for trying to become a good person despite his blood-curdling past, and accomplishing that almost effortlessly. How could his mother accept a Borg on the ship when she never fully accepted him, her own son?

But after finally talking to Finn, he discovered that the former Borg was plagued by fear, nightmares, and insecurities too. He was feeling alone, opening himself up to healthy relationships only now, more than a year after Dr. Tico saved him from that fateful wreckage.

Finn had said that anyone deserves a second chance, but when Rose had brought him on board, he didn’t feel worthy at first, and that made Kylo think. All the people who mistrusted or hated him because he’d been part of the Borg Collective hadn’t been helpful at all, and that was undoubtedly slowing down the healing process. But it was a process nonetheless, and it could be long and tortuous. The important thing was to keep going.

One of the first things Finn had said to him the previous night was: “Once you have friends, everything is easier”.

Kylo never had any friends during his life, save for Admiral Snoke, and he’d all but disappeared after the accident on the Finalizer, never answering Kylo’s messages. One of the things the old man always said was: “No one will ever love you more than me”, making him feel unworthy of anyone else. He shivered.

Could Finn become his friend? 

_ I hope it’s not too late. _

***USS Resistance, Lieutenant Rey Kenobi’s quarters, Stardate 52249.83.***

The following week, Rey dreams about Ren. Not Ashoka, or Ezra, or Jacen. She dreams about the symbiont, a shapeless entity swimming in a milk-like substance, and crying for help. She wakes up with a jolt, sweating. Are they really in danger or this is just a dream induced by her memories?

She takes out her communicator and calls Jacen Ren, hoping to not disturb him in the middle of the night. She has no idea where he’s located right now, it’s been a while since they last spoke. Guilt gnaws at her while no one answers on the other end. 

_ Where are you? _

In spite of not feeling well rested, Rey decides to get up and begin the day. Returning to sleep isn’t possible after her disturbing dreams. Maybe Rose would like to have breakfast together? It’s the first time Rey has a female friend around her age and the thought still makes her giddy. 

***USS Resistance, Bar, Stardate 52250.16.***

“Porakan eggs, moba jam, and red leaf tea for our dearest doctor and counselor,” smiles the bartender, Maz.

Rey still flinches when someone refers to her as “counselor,” but she doesn’t correct old Maz anymore.

“So,” begins Rose. “Finn told me that your friend, Kylo, isn’t that bad after all.”

Rey almost snorts her tea. “Not really my friend.”

Rose smiles. “But you like him, don’t you?”

_ Touché. _

“Are you sure you don’t have Betazoid blood?” Rey grumbles. “Can we talk about something else? My love life is not particularly interesting.”

Rose laughs. “You should go out with him if you like him. You can’t really know people until you talk to them, you know?”

Maybe she has a point. Rey keeps spreading the jam on her bread, her gaze lowered and her cheeks burning. Kylo and her started their relationship on the wrong foot. People can change, becoming a better version of themselves, and the only way she can discover if the Captain’s son has changed for real is by giving him a second chance.

***Planet Earth, Starfleet Academy, Stardate 51432.17.***

_ Dear Jacen _, Rey wrote. 

_ I’m proud to tell you that today I graduated from Starfleet Academy. You were absolutely right: I had the time of my life here, and I’ve finally put my mechanic skills to good use. I can’t wait to wear the black and yellow uniform! But first, I would be happy to have you here for the Graduation Ceremony next month… _

She finished the message and smiled, hoping that Jacen could come to her graduation party. The thought made her blush, her old crush on her friend never waned despite having known him for five years, and having known his symbiont since she was five years old.

“He’ll never come,” she whispered to herself. “Too busy with his work.”

She pushed the send button nonetheless.

***USS Resistance, Lieutenant Rey Kenobi’s quarters, Stardate 52259.50.***

“Computer, where is Ben Solo?” asks Rey, after clicking on her badge.

_ Ensign Ben Solo is inside Lieutenant Commander Hux’s apartment, deck seven. He’s currently sitting in the living room. _

How curious. Hux is currently planetside with First Officer Dameron, on a mission. Rey gets on her feet and reaches the droid’s apartment. A muffled “Come in, I can’t move right now!” from inside greets her knocking.

Hux’s apartment reminds her of Finn’s, bare and depersonalized. Kylo is sitting on the couch and Hux’s orange cat, Millicent, is sleeping on his lap. No wonder he can’t move. The sight is enough to mitigate Rey’s hostility, stealing a smile from her lips.

“I’m her favourite human, she still remembers me from when we were on the USS Finalizer. I usually take care of her when Hux is away.”

Rey doesn’t expect him to talk about his previous experience in the Fleet. But she doesn’t want him to control the conversation, she’s here to talk about something else.

“Finn told me that you talked.”

Kylo nods. “We did. I was wrong about him, and I hope he’ll forgive me. We’ll see each other again today, I want him to meet Millicent.”

“What happened on the Finalizer? Several people have already mentioned an accident involving you.” At Rey’s words, Kylo closes his eyes.

Millicent abandons his lap.

“I miscalculated a route, ended up in an asteroid field at maximum warp. One of our nacelles exploded, causing several deaths. I underwent a trial and a demotion after that. It was my fault.”

Rey doesn’t perceive any hint of falsehood from him. “Was your father on board?”

Kylo gulps. “He was.” 

Rey’s heart is beating furiously. He’s getting overwrought, his emotions are like an old wooden terrestrial sea vessel, at the mercy of a wuthering storm. Any sensible person would drop the topic of conversation, at this point.

“Did he die during the explosion?”

Kylo’s mind is completely blank now, as if he was in the eye of the storm.

“I–I can’t remember.”

Rey exhales. He’s about to have a panic attack, and she can’t remain here without getting caught up in it with him. She runs out of Hux’s apartments, clicking on her badge and calling 

for Rose, while putting as much distance between her and Kylo as possible.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the mysteries are finally unveiled, and our friends' adventure ends. Qapla'!

***USS Resistance, Lieutenant Commander Hux’s quarters, Stardate 52259.87***

  
  


Rey checks on Kylo later that evening. He’s all right, but she can’t help feeling guilty for being the cause of so much distress. When she enters Hux’s apartment again, she’s quite surprised to find Finn on the floor, cuddling a besotted Millicent while Kylo is resting on the couch.

“Hi,” she croaks, and the boys smile at her. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. Dr. Tico helped me, thank you for calling her. And Finn kept me company when she had to return to the infirmary for an emergency.”

“Weren’t you going to play Dom-jot with Rose tonight?” she asks to Finn.

“Yes, but several people got food poisoning. A replicator malfunctioned. I’ve been able to see a real cat instead, the Dom-jot table can wait,” he answers, scratching Millicent’s chin.

Kylo’s eyes are tired, and he lets a yawn escape his mouth. “I should cook for you two, and for Dr. Tico as well, without replicators. I promise you won’t get any kind of food poisoning from me.” 

Finn gets on his feet. “You should think about resting, let’s talk about it tomorrow? Have a good night.”

Rey and Kylo are alone now, and she doesn’t know what to say anymore.

“I’ll go too.”

“No,” whispers Kylo. “Stay. Please.”

She sits on the couch, next to his feet. He’s wearing the black standard socks required with the Fleet uniform, and his feet look impossibly long. She barely restrains herself from touching them, keeping her hands in her lap instead. 

_ I always feel the strangest of urges when I’m around him _ . 

Millicent jumps on the couch too, finding a warm spot in Kylo’s arms. Kylo pets the cat, but his eyes are full of sorrow, and she perceives confusion coming from him.

“I think my father died because of me. I’m not sure, my memories of the accident feel hazy.”

Rey smiles at him, and takes his hand. It’s cold. 

“Let’s change the subject? Today has been hard on you.” 

“Talk to me?” Kylo asks, his eyes closed. “Your voice is soothing.”

She sighs. “I fear I won’t be good company tonight.”

“How so?” Kylo inquires.

“I’m worried. I tried to contact Ren earlier, but he didn’t answer my message. What if something bad happened?”

“You don’t have to disclose anything about them you don’t want to. I was an asshole. I shouldn’t have demanded anything from you.”

“But you’re not being an asshole anymore, are you?”

The cat purrs. 

“Would you be able to tell if something happened to him?” Kylo asks.

Rey thinks about her dream. “I’m not really sure.”

“Are you close with Ren’s current host?” 

Rey nods. “When I was fifteen, Ren visited me on Betazed. I used to live there with an old family friend, until he died later that year, so when Jacen found out about it, he came. I remembered their previous host, Ezra. I used to exchange messages and letters with him with such fondness and childish admiration. But when I saw Jacen for the first time, I’m pretty sure I fell in love on the spot. He was tall, with gorgeous hair and eyes, and a crooked nose.”

Kylo snorts.

”He convinced me to enlist. I was good at repairing ships using salvaged pieces, from when I lived on Camor V, and he knew it. I have great memories of the Academy, and we began to write each other again. But then he began traveling to the Gamma Quadrant for business, and the last time I heard from him, he told me he was too busy to maintain a steady correspondence. It’s been a few months, now.”

“Did you sleep with him?”

Rey laughs while shaking her head, and Kylo bursts out laughing with her.

“For your information, since I’m incapacitated, this doesn’t count as a date.” He winks. “Would you reconsider going out with me?”

  
  
  


***USS Resistance, Bar, Stardate 52261.54.***

  
  


Captain Organa is sitting in a secluded corner of the bar, alone as usual, but today her eyes lack their typical light. She fiddles with her untouched drink, and Rey has to draw her attention with a wave of her hand.

“Rey,” she snaps. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.”

“Captain,” Rey greets the woman, detecting glimpses of deep guilt coming from her.

“Dr. Tico told me that my son had a panic attack yesterday evening, but you were there. Thank you for helping him.”

Rey shakes her head. “I didn’t. Finn and Rose helped him, I ran away.”

“But you alerted the infirmary,” Leia sighs deeply. “I feel that I failed him, Rey. Being a good mother, being simply a mother was never my priority. He happened and I wasn’t able to be there when he needed me the most. His father was absent as well. I’m trying so hard to rectify that, but everything I try to do to reach out to him only alienates him further.”

Rey bites her lips. Kylo’s relationship with his mother is complicated indeed: she knows they love each other, but they’re too proud and stubborn to simply listen, and ask for forgiveness. She sits at the table, taking Captain Organa’s hands in hers.

“I can’t say I fully understand what ails you both, since I grew up without parents, and I would gladly give one of my legs to go back in time and prevent our ship to crash on Camor V, and experience having a family. I wish I could help you, really, but I can’t do anything: it’s between you and Kylo. Leia, you have to talk to him.”

The Captain’s gaze is downcast, her hands are trembling, but Rey’s touch helps steady them.

“I love him so much, Rey, you have no idea,” she murmurs, a lonely tear crossing her tired face. “But I keep hurting him, and it’s not my intention, I swear.”

“Tell him. He needs to know he’s loved unconditionally. Because right now, he doesn’t.”

Leia nods, drying her face.

  
  
  


***USS Resistance, Ensign Ben Solo’s quarters, Stardate 52283.30.***

  
  


Rey falters when Kylo opens the door half naked, clearly just emerged from the shower, wearing only a loose pair of pants. Suddenly, she doesn’t know where to look anymore, the pale expanse of his chest almost occupying her whole field of vision, dark spots running down, until they disappear into the waistband of his pants. He’s stunning, and if he doesn’t cover himself, she knows she’s going to put her hands on him.

“Do you have something–a cowl or something you could put on?” she stutters.

He looks… huge. She already knows he’s a big man, but without a shirt on he looks even more imposing. He’s beautiful and broken, and he makes her head spin and her heart beat like mad. She shouldn’t like him so much, yet she does.

He smirks. “Make yourself at home.”

_ Bastard. _

She sits on a small ottoman in front of the holographic fireplace. It’s the first time she’s entered Kylo’s apartment, and it’s definitely more decorated than Finn’s. There are weapons hanging on the wall, tasteful pottery, a couple of plants (again, with thorns). A small wooden horga'hn statue –the kind used to communicate one’s sexual availability on the planet Risa– is watching her from the table, but when Kylo returns, clothed this time, he moves it out of her view. Classy.

He sits on another ottoman, in front of her, puffing his cheeks out. “I had organized an outing at the hot springs of Vulcan, on Holodeck Three. But if you’re not comfortable with wearing a swimsuit around me, we can do something else.”

“What? No!” She squeals. “I–I just wasn’t expecting… that,” she concludes, pointing at his chest.

He laughs. “Hot springs it is, then.”

  
  
  


***USS Resistance, Holodeck 3, Stardate 52283.90.***

  
  


Rey’s delight when the square patterns of the Holodeck morph into one of the most beautiful landscapes of Vulcan is almost palpable, and it warms Kylo’s heart, making him forget about Ren. He knows that the symbiont could be missing, or even dead, right now, but all he can think about is her smile. What’s wrong with him? What would Admiral Snoke think of him?  _ He would think that I’m weak for focusing on a woman instead of thinking about power and knowledge, even after… _ .

He can admit it to himself now. 

_ Even after my father died because of me. _

Rey takes his hand. “Let’s go, I can’t wait to take a dip in the hot water.”

He lets her guide him towards the hot springs. It would be nice to forget about symbionts and hosts for once and just… live. Rey turns around, smiling, and his heart skips a beat. They remove their clothes slowly, and she smiles upon seeing him shirtless again. Her skin is not unblemished as he had imagined, and he discovers that he likes that a lot, his eyes roaming over her small scars and stretch marks. The time seems to stop for a second or two: she is beautiful, radiant, free. 

_ My polar opposite.  _

She squeals while dipping her toe in the hot water. How could he have thought for a second that she was uninteresting, boring, plain? 

“Kylo, come in, it’s wonderful!”

He follows her into the water, and she takes both his hands, guiding him in the middle of the shallow pool.

This time, she’s the one initiating the kiss. “ _ We’re playing by my rules here, _ ” she said.

He’s surprised, but he doesn’t stop her, and longing floods his heart. He wishes that time would freeze, he wishes he hadn’t been born a half-Trill, he wishes there was no Ren to worry about. Her wet hands tangle with his hair, making him moan into her mouth. Her presence is exhilarating, she’s everywhere at once, her hands and lips the only things making him feel alive. He gulps when she caresses the markings on his face, he whimpers as she strokes his erection.

“Too much?” she asks, without removing her hand.

“Never,” he answers, lifting her up and carrying her out of the water.

  
  
  


***USS Resistance, Holodeck 3, Stardate 52284.06.***

  
  


Rey has removed his swimsuit and she’s currently kneeling between his legs, her beautiful lips nibbling at his foreskin. She looks at his cock like it’s a gift. No one had looked at any part of him like that before. He’s about to die. He killed his father, he cannot and does not deserve this. She engulfs him to the root in her incredible mouth, a wicked hand caressing his sensitive balls, and he has to stop her before the inevitable happens.

“I’m not going to last if you keep up like this,” he admits.

“Would it be a bad thing?” she retorts, removing her panties–but keeping her bra on.

The sight of the dark thatch of hair between her legs makes his head spin. _ Is this a dream?  _ He reaches for her pussy but she swats his hand away, straddling him and grinding her already wet centre on his hard length. She’s soaked. This is torture, a delicious kind of torture. 

“Is this all right?”

He can't help nodding, and whimpering, causing a wicked grin to bloom on her lips. She slowly impales herself on him, a hand on his chest while the other one grips his cock, lining it with her slit. She’s scorching hot, velvety, perfect. He’s sure his eyes are trying to roll back in his skull. She is the most perfect being in the Quadrant, and he’s a murderer.

“Stay with me,” she whispers in his mouth, while fucking him like he actually deserves it, biting his lips, eating him alive. He missed this sensation, the laughs, the smells, the human touch. Feeling bold–and hoping that his hands aren’t too cold for her, he moves the triangles of her bra, exposing her tiny, pebbled nipples, grabs her hips and fucks into her harder and faster, coming with a grunt.  _ Too soon. _

_ There, you ruined everything as usual. _

_ Shut up _ , he seethes to the voice in his head that dangerously reminds him of Snoke, and rolls them over, opening her legs and diving for her centre. Her nether lips are pink and glistening under the artificial sun of the holodeck, and he noses at her downy hair before finally tasting her. 

“Kylo,” she whispers.

But she’s smiling, like she doesn’t care that he came too soon, and greets his tongue with a moan full of pleasure. He licks her again, tongue prodding at her clit, and she comes when he nibbles delicately on it, the sounds she’s making almost enough to make him come again.

For once, he’s thankful to be alive.

  
  
  


***USS Resistance, Lieutenant Rey Kenobi’s quarters, Stardate 52285.35.***

  
  


That night, Rey dreams of Ren again. They’re swimming in the milky liquid, and they’re desperate, cries of pain echoing through the cave they’re in. They’re calling for her help, she can feel that, and it looks like the dream isn’t a dream anymore, but a vision: Ren is in a situation of high distress, possibly in danger, and she has to do something.

That leads her to knock on Kylo’s door at four in the morning. He’s disheveled from sleep, but comes at the door in a matter of seconds, and hugs her tightly.

“Rey, are you okay?” His worry for her is palpable, and it makes her anxiety spike.

They sit in front of the holographic fireplace again, like the last time she’d been in his apartment. The horga'hn statue is back on the table, but she doesn’t even have the energy to smile at it. But Kylo is here for her, and he’s waiting patiently for her to begin speaking, his eyes never leaving hers.

“Ren is in danger, for real. I can feel it. I’ve dreamt about them, and they were calling for me. They’re in pain, possibly their life is in jeopardy. Jacen isn’t answering my messages. Something happened.”

Kylo doesn’t question her visions. “How can I help?”

“I can try to contact them through the dream, see if they can send me their location somehow.”

“I will ask the Captain to interrupt the current mission, and we’ll look for Ren.”

Rey gulps, the urge to cry overwhelming. “Kylo, please. I don’t want to lose them.”

She extends her hand, and he meets it halfway, touching her rough skin delicately. This is somehow more intimate than having sex with him at the hot springs. She doesn’t even notice the tears running down her cheeks until he caresses her face, and she leans into his touch.

“You’re not alone,” he whispers.

“Neither are you.”

The kiss they share is soothing, the heat they feel for each other left for another time. 

  
  
  


***USS Resistance, Captain’s Leia Organa quarters, Stardate 52285.72.***

  
  


Kylo leaves Rey in his bed, asleep now, and goes looking for his mother. It’s early, and he has to knock on the door to her private quarters. She answers, still in her sleeping gown, looking quite surprised to see him.

“Ben? What happened?”

He doesn’t even flinch at her using his old name. “Rey’s friend, Ren, is sending her disturbing visions. It looks like they’re in danger. They could be dying.”

“I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ll contact the Symbiosis Commission right now, see if they can do anything to help.”

“Mother,” pleads Kylo. “Please, don’t. Let me go without telling the Commission anything. This could be my only chance to get a symbiont.”

Leia hides her face behind her hands, and sighs. “I admit I can’t, or rather, I don’t want to understand this obsession of yours. I may be born a Trill, but I’m a Vulcan at heart. However you’re my only son and I love you, just tell me the right coordinates and my ship is yours.”

Kylo’s head spins, and his instinct tells him to squeeze the Captain against his chest, and never let her go. He does it. She’s so tiny, frail, and old that holding her almost hurts. How many years have passed since they embraced for the last time? Ten? Fifteen? Twenty? He can’t remember.

“Ben,” she sighs, tears already pooling at her eyes. “I’m so sorry I’ve never been a good mother to you. Could you ever forgive me?”

He smiles, but he doesn’t answer her question. “Thank you for listening, and for your help.” 

“Just come back in one piece, please.”

“I’ll come back with an extra piece, if all goes well,” he murmurs, rocking Leia between his arms.

  
  
  


***USS Resistance, Holodeck 2, Stardate 52292.36.***

  
  


After a couple precious days, Ren is finally able to broadcast to Rey the right coordinates to find them; not in a dream, but during her daily Klingon Calisthenics routine. Luckily, Rose is with her, so she catches Rey right before she can fall and injure herself, having blacked out from the sheer force of the visions that keep flashing in front of her eyes. She sees unfamiliar faces of Trills: happy people, sad people, dead people. 

It’s like Ren opened a channel to communicate telepathically with her through the space and the time, sending out a loud distress call across the universe. She sees Ashoka, her eyes lifeless. She sees Ezra, his skin burned, almost unrecognizable. She sees Jacen, unmoving, a rivulet of blood coming out of his mouth. She sees a wrinkled, pale Trill, trembling and crawling on a dirty floor. Ren cries, seeking her help, desperate. It looks like these are the last hours for their host. Luckily, they seem to be stuck in the Orellius System, not too far from where the USS Resistance is currently located.

  
  


“Jacen is dead,” croaks Rey. “Ren has another host, old and frail, and they never consented to be transferred. We have to hurry.”

  
  
  


***USS Resistance, Shuttlebay 1, Stardate 52294.08.***

  
  


Kylo, Rose, Finn and a distraught Rey are waiting for the Captain’s permission to take off and finally reach the dying symbiont, stranded on the only M-class planet of the Orellius System. As promised, Leia grants them passage, and a shuttle with four seats. Finn is the one behind the controls, while Rey is next to him, nursing a debilitating headache, spawned by Ren’s feeble stream of consciousness. Kylo is fussing behind her, and Rose is busy preparing a portable stretcher and two bags of medical supplies, in order to transfer Ren to his new host.

“Have you ever operated on a Trill?” Finn asks Rose, breaking the tense silence.

“No, this would be a first for me. My field of expertise are ex-Borgs.” she winks.

“What are you two talking about?” Rey asks, her eyes barely open.

Kylo takes her hand, squeezing it. “Ren needs a new host, and I’m the only Trill on board.”

“So, you’ll finally get what you were looking for.” Rey snaps.

The bond with Ren is preventing her from perceiving Kylo’s intentions and feelings, but the wounded look on his face is there for anyone to see. She didn’t intend to hurt him with her harsh comment, but she lacks the energy to soften her words right now.

“I won’t lie. But I’m here to help your friend too,” he murmurs.

Rey chastises herself. She knows that her lover isn’t focused solely on Ren anymore. He’s changing, trying to be a better person not only for the symbiont, but for himself too.

Worry quickly replaces anger. “You’re not even a full Trill, if they reject you, you’ll die!”

“Do you have another solution?” Kylo’s frustration is so strong that it floods her, bypassing her unease.

“We should have called the Symbiosis Commission.”

“Ren is dying right now, calling the Commission would only be a waste of time. I won’t budge. I’m sorry.”

Rey starts crying silently. “I don’t want to lose them. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t. I promise.”

  
  
  


***Orellius System, SS Santa Maria wreckage, Stardate 52295.40.***

  
  


Rey is tired, the mental connection is draining her energy. When her steps falter upon exiting the shuttle, Kylo is right behind her, crouching and lifting her into his arms.

“Thank you,” she smiles. “It’s right in front of us, inside that abandoned ship.”

He squints his eyes. “You’re right, that’s a Erewon Class ship, I mistook it for a rock covered by grass.”

Finn and Rose unload a stretcher and other medical equipment. They walk to the old wreckage, now covered by wild vines, its roof collapsed under the merciless attack of the local wildlife.

“They’re down there!” Rey is getting antsy, and Kylo releases her from his arms. She descends a flight of stairs, and he has to stop for a moment to help Rose with her bags. When they reach the end of the stairs, he almost feels his knees give out from under him: there are two bodies in the room. Rey is crying, cradling the green haired head of the corpse that surely belonged to Jacen Ren, a puddle of dried blood spread on the dirty floor. The other body is Admiral Snoke, and Kylo almost has to excuse himself, the acrid taste of bile pooling in the back of his throat. 

_ I should have guessed that he was involved in this mess. _

That explains Snoke’s silence during the last year. After Kylo’s last failure on the USS Finalizer, he’d decided to take the matter in his own hands, looking for Jacen Ren himself instead. But something had gone horribly wrong. 

_ I killed Han for nothing, then? _

He approaches Snoke’s prone figure, noticing how his badly-stitched stomach pulses under the symbiont’s distress. Rose is already there, analyzing the ghastly figure with her tricorder.

“My child,” Snoke croaks. “Ren is rejecting me. You’ll have to bring me to the nearest hospital.”

Kylo’s cold stare stops on the pitiful scene in front of him. His once fearsome mentor is now crawling on the floor, after having gone behind his back to kidnap Ren. His ears are ringing and his inside burn with anger.

“Can you tell me,” Kylo spits. “Can you tell me why this symbiont is so important for you?”

“Ren’s first host was a powerful Trill. His name was Plagueis. He knew how to obtain immortality, but I can’t access his memories. Ren won’t let me.”

Kylo is seeing dark spots in the corner of his vision. “You made me kill my father so I could become a host, and yet here you are, willing to perform surgery on yourself nonetheless!”

“You didn’t kill anyone, my child, you’re too weak even for that. I organized the accident to make you forget your human side, but you ruined everything as usual, feeling guilty instead of proud.”

Kylo begins having difficulty breathing. “Who’s this Plagueis? What does my grandfather has to do with all of this?” he shouts, as Finn puts a hand on his shoulder, trying to soothe him.

“I needed to motivate you somehow, to give you a purpose. You were weak, and uninterested in being joined. You were my only means to obtain Ren for myself. And yet, you failed as usual. Look what you’ve made me do.”

Kylo is crying, completely out of himself. His breathing becomes shallow, but he thankfully loses consciousness before having another panic attack.

  
  
  


***Orellius System, SS Santa Maria wreckage, Stardate 52295.44.***

  
  


Rey watches in horror as Rose has to intervene on Kylo, swiftly injecting a sedative in his neck. She runs to him, cradling his limp body like she cradled Jacen’s dead one. His cheekbones are streaked with tears, and she dries his face with her sleeve, cupping his head, caressing his hair. So, Snoke was the one to kill Kylo’s father. Her skin crawls.

_ Was the accident a ruse to hide everything, then? Did Snoke meddle with Hux’s computer too? _

The fact that Ren is now inside that creepy, old man makes her want to throw up.

“I’m sorry, but your vital system is failing” Rose tells Snoke. “We have to transfer the symbiont as soon as possible. We can’t save you, but I’m sure that being a Trill you’ll understand that Ren has the priority here.”

The old Admiral is mumbling, too feeble to talk.

There is no time to return to the shuttle, and Rey helps Finn position Kylo on the stretcher while Rose injects Snoke with an anesthetic and cleans the still-fresh wound on his abdomen with a disinfectant solution. Everything happens in a haze, Finn and Rose are exchanging words, quickly working on the two prone men, but she can’t hear what they say, her ears ringing too loudly to permit her to concentrate on the surgery. 

_ What if Ren rejects Kylo too? _

She doesn’t want to lose him. He’s an asshole. He’s plagued by his own demons. He fell in love with her, she knows. Somehow, she just knows. And she has feelings for him too. New, terrifying feelings that make her knees tremble and her heart beat so fast that she thinks she’s dying too. The thought of their last night together, when she slept between his arms, makes her heart soar. She takes his limp hand between hers, wishing she at least had the Prophets to pray to, as Rose does.

“Kylo’s iso-boramine level is regular,” states Rose, checking on him with her tricorder. “We can proceed.”

She opens Kylo’s abdomen with a scalpel, while Finn–a bit clumsily–cuts Snoke’s stitches; Rey can’t help but stare, the surgery horrific and fascinating at the same time.

“Here we are,” Rose announces. “Say hello to your friend, Rey!”

Seeing Ren for the first time outside of a host is slightly underwhelming.

“You’re… a worm?” she can’t help whispering, and everybody laughs nervously.

“Come on, let me insert the symbiont, we’re almost finished here.”

Ren slides smoothly into Kylo’s abdomen, already knowing where to go, and Rose proceeds to close the wound. Now they’ll have to wait three or four days to see if Ren will accept Kylo. Snoke, now a corpse, watches them from his corner, his tongue lolling limply out of his mouth. 

Rey shivers at the sight of it.

  
  
  


***USS Resistance, Infirmary, Stardate 52305.34.***

  
  


Kylo can perceive Ren’s presence even before waking up. He feels different, yet the same as always. His two brains have dreamed for ninety-three hours straight, memories of Ren’s past hosts mingling with his own. It’s like a thousand generations of Trills live in him now. He’s one with Ren. 

Yet, the first word he utters, before opening his eyes is “Rey”.

“I’m here,” a sleepy voice answers.

He squints, and she’s there, next to his infirmary bed. Her hair is disheveled, her eyes are puffy and red from the lack of sleep, and she’s beautiful as always. 

“Should I say it?” he asks.

“Say it, please. It’s a tradition.”

He clears his voice. “Don’t worry, little one. You’re safe now.”

Rey hugs him, her voice broken. “I missed you so much.” 

He laughs. “Who did you miss more? Ren, or me?” 

He begins caressing her hair. She’s crying and smiling at the same time, and he wants to kiss her forever.

“Both. What should I call you now?”

“Kylo Ren doesn’t sound too bad,” he answers, drying her tears.

She laughs. “Well, I refuse to call you Ben Ren.”

He laughs with her. “Kylo Ren it is, then.”

  
  
  


***USS Resistance, Lieutenant Commander Hux’s quarters, Stardate 52342.25.***

  
  


Kylo is surrounded by friends. He’s definitely not used to it, but Ren is, so everything is going to be okay in the end. Almost two weeks since the joining with the symbiont, they’re in Hux’s quarters, sitting in a circle on the floor like they’re still cadets, playing “Never have I ever” and drinking black hole cocktails. Unfortunately, Millicent is hiding from the crowd, probably under the bed, and Finn is quite sad about that: he loves the orange beast so much that Kylo is plotting to bring another rescue on board for his new –his first– friend.

Hux sounds more excited than usual tonight. He sips from his glass, then says “Never have I ever gotten into a fight with First Officer Dameron!”

Rose and Kylo drink. That happened more than once actually: Dameron knows how to grate on one’s nerves. Everyone laughs, all this happiness is making his head spin.

“Never have I ever…” Rose begins. “Had green hair.”

Kylo drinks, alone. Jacen had green hair. Maybe this is not the right game for him, having lived so many lives, retaining centuries of memories inside himself.

It’s Finn’s turn. “Never have I ever… been on Camor V.”

Kylo drinks again, followed by Rey. The questions seem suspiciously aimed at him now, and he begins to pout.

Rey winks at him. “Never have I ever known the secret to immortality!”

“Oh, come on!” Kylo exclaims. “That was a ruse, and Snoke fell for it. Every Trill knows that the secret to immortality is getting a symbiont.” That had hurt so much, knowing that the old admiral had played on his insecurities and Han had died for nothing. But he can’t do anything to change that now, and decided to let the past die. He’s a new person now.

“You have to drink, come on, buddy.” Finn pats his shoulder, and Kylo squeezes his hand.

“No, I’m tired. I’m going to bed. Is anyone coming with me?” he says, winking at Rey.

Everyone howls, and she blushes. He loves teasing her. Without meeting anyone’s eyes, she gets on her feet, taking his hand, and they exit Hux’s quarters. She’s tipsy, and chatty. He can’t wait to see her mouth otherwise occupied, and he kissed her deeply. She bites his lower lip, smiling.

“I never asked you if Jacen knew I had a crush on him,” she laughs.

“He definitely noticed, but he thought you were too young for him.”

“Luckily. We couldn’t be together, if I’d been with him. Stupid Trill laws and everything.”

He winks. “How does it work now, should I be jealous of myself?”

Rey laughs, and he kisses her again.

He’s ready to live ten thousands lives now.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to thank every single person that read this fic and left a comment, without your neverending encouragement I wouldn't write.
> 
> I also have to thank profusely my precious betas (MsCoppelia, AGDoren, Mod Mneme and Mod Viv from the RFFA), that took their time to help craft this little fic, help me with my still wobbly English, help me with ST lore, and making sure that my portrait of Finn wasn't insensitive or offensive in any way. 
> 
> If you want to chat about SW, ST or Reylo, find me on Tumblr (persimonne.tumblr.com) or Twitter (@persimonne666).

**Author's Note:**

> Star Trek Vademecum for non-Trekkie readers
> 
> Since this fic is a Star Trek AU, it may be difficult to follow what happens if you haven’t seen any of the Star Trek series, especially The Next Generation, Deep Space 9, and Voyager. I hope this little vademecum will be useful for you!
> 
> General Infos
> 
> The Federation (aka the United Federation of Planets) is a utopian democracy founded during the 22nd century A.D., composed of various planets in the Alpha Quadrant (the portion of the Milky Way where Earth is located). Every member of the Federation shares their knowledge and resources in peaceful cooperation, scientific development, space exploration, and mutual defense. 
> 
> In the Federation there is no poverty nor hunger, money isn’t a thing, and people work for pleasure and not for survival. Primary needs such as clothes and food are processed through replicators, machines able to dematerialize quantities of matter and then rematerialize that matter in another form.
> 
> Starfleet is part of the deep space exploratory and defense service of the Federation: it’s a proper fleet, with space vessels traveling in space for scientific and diplomatic purposes. To become part of the fleet, people need to graduate from Starfleet Academy.
> 
> The inhabitants of the Alpha Quadrant are mostly humanoids, sharing the same genetic coding (and the same ancestry). There are many species living on several different planets.
> 
> Main Characters
> 
> Trills and their symbionts play a huge part in this story. Trills look human, save for spots running from their temples to their toes, in two symmetrical stripes (Kylo’s stripes, being half Human, are asymmetrical). A very small portion of their population is able to coexist with a sentient symbiotic organism, and hosting it is considered the highest honour in Trill society. The symbiont is, in fact, a sentient vermiform being living in their host’s womb, inside a special pouch. They’re usually very long-lived, and have to change hosts upon their host’s death, retaining all the memories from their previous hosts. To become joined with a symbiont, Trills need to pass many tests and be accepted by the Symbiosis Commission and the Symbiosis Evaluation Board. Many Trills only live to be joined, and the most ruthless ones can even kidnap or kill other Trills to reach their goal!
> 
> Rey is a Betazoid, from planet Betazed, a species indistinguishable from humans. Betazoids have natural telepathic and empathic powers, usually developed during their infancy or adolescence, but many of them have also difficulties in properly screening other people’s thoughts and emotions. 
> 
> Finn is a Borg. Borgs are not a species per se. The Borg Collective captures humanoids around the Galaxy, assimilating them in their hive mind: all Borgs are linked, sharing thoughts and information. Their ultimate goal is the assimilation of every sentient species, technology, and knowledge. Before becoming a Borg drone, Finn was a Human kid.
> 
> Rose is a Bajoran. They’re similar to Humans in every aspect, save for their ridged nose, and they usually wear a single earring on their right ear. They come from a very rich planet invaded during the 24th century by the Cardassians (a humanoid race whose goal is to take over the Galaxy), which proceeded to force the Bajoran population in slavery, depleting their planet of its natural, artistic, and human resources.
> 
> For any doubt, a very useful site: https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Portal:Main


End file.
